


The Broken Man

by JakeGodOfMischief



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Game, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Future Fic, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, Minor Jake English/Dirk Strider, Minor Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde, Minor Roxy Lalonde/Dirk Strider, Near Future, No Smut?, No official ending, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sadstuck, Set in the future, Sorry Not Sorry, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 06:12:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6183811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JakeGodOfMischief/pseuds/JakeGodOfMischief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High School is always a messy time in some people's lives. But with two people who are slightly socially awkward have completely different personalities date it's even worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning Of The End

Dirk had lived on his own for most of his life, so it was hard at first to get used to social interactions. Dirk's brother had always been away working on the next big movie or whatever else, making appearances, meeting people and just everything in between that famous people do. He had kept his little brother staying off by himself, away from it all, almost hidden. It was an attempt to save him the hassle of paparazzi and the media, but the cons outweighed the pros in the end.

Dirk was left dealing with a few issues having grown up most of his life completely alone. Realizing this, his brother had moved him to the city, trying to get him some semblance of a normal life while he could, getting him to go to school and meet people, have friends. Of which he now had three: Jane, Roxy and Jake, the last of which was also his boyfriend.

Jake had also grown up alone in the United Kingdom after something that happened that he still didn't bother to talk about, until his grandmother came and got him and home schooled him all through out the rest of grade school, all of Middle school and one year of High school. So in a way, they were similar. However, it did cause some trouble between them, seeing as neither really knew their way about a relationship very well. Dirk recognized this though, and he honestly did his best to try and find a way to bring it up to Jake. It was easier said than done, however, and even more so when he was in a depressive slump.

Like he was now.

This one seemed to be the worst Dirk had had in a while, the recently building tension between he and Jake and the fact the other seemed to be avoiding him at any chance only adding to that. It was getting difficult to bring himself to even get up and go to school, but he managed to pull through, if only to seem normal still.

Roxy was the only one who knew about his depressive moods, having figured it out herself with how nosy and intrusive she could be at times. She had sworn not to tell anybody though, but only because she knew Dirk wouldn't ever do anything stupid. And he wouldn't. But that only made it harder to get Jake to understand.

* * *

 

It was lunchtime, Dirk was heading to their normal spot with the sandwiches he had made that morning in one of his hands and in the other was the rest of his lunch. Just before he could turn the corner to where they sat, he halted. His gut wrenching with dread as he thought about seeing Jake right now. Trying to swallow the lump in his throat, he argued with himself silently about going and sitting with them. Jake wasn't the only one there, so why should it be so awkward?

Then he heard it. Jake's voice. "I don't know, Dirk's just really needy. He can be so clingy and...and overbearing. It's so tiring and I'm just getting fed up of it."

Jaw tensing, Dirk stepped back again quietly before turning around completely, his feet carrying him away before his mind could even catch up. Shoving his lunch in the trash as he passed, he simply left school, choking back the tears that were threatening to fall. He was a Strider, he couldn't cry like this. Making his way home immediately, he locked himself away in his room, tossing his phone down at one end of his bed as he curled up on the other. He stayed like that for the rest of the day, knowing his brother was away for the week.

He was trying, he really was, but in his current state Dirk was really struggling.


	2. Before the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING MENTION OF DEATH!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to have a mention of death and just so you know, I wrote this at 2:00 am my time. Hope you enjoy.

Jake was always bad at communicating and just socializing with people as a whole or at least after his parents had died while they were on their way to work. Jake was five maybe six at the time when this happened and he was never really sure as to why or how they died. After that he had spent most of his life growing up until he was in his preteen years, spent in an orphanage, and even though he was around other people and not physically alone he was still alone and at times had to provide for himself. He had gotten a hold of his grandmother when he was about seven or eight, who was in America. He learned that she had been working to get money to come to London and get him after she had gotten a call from his mother's close friend who had been one of the emergency contacts for his mother.

It was at the age of ten that he had moved to America and was home schooled for a while. At the age of twelve his grandmother had began working again, picking up science once more. And just like Dirk and how he saw his bro vary little he saw his grandma very little. He was then enrolled in a public school that was a good walking distance from where he lived. He met Jane Crocker and Roxy Lalande. Roxy and Jake spent hours together talking and hanging out. At fourteen he was alone once again when his grandma passed away. At the age of fifteen he then picked up a job. This was also the year that he met Dirk and a few months after that, they started to date.

* * *

 

It was now senior year for them both and things started to become sour.

"I don't know, Dirk's been so needy. He can be so clingy and... and over bearing. it's so tiring and I'm just getting fed up with it." Jake said softly to Roxy, who was running her fingers through Jake's black hair and little did he know that when he said that Dirk was right there. He had his head in her lap, glasses off. Roxy frowned softly. "Hey, You need to remember, he is just as bad at communicating as you are, Jake." She said and looked at Jane who was writing down some notes for a class that Roxy could care little about. "Dirk's not any of those Jake, he just cares about you." Jane said calmly. She glanced up and gave a small smile. "Yeah what Janey said! He cares and would hate if something happened to you, Jake. He'd be upset and blame himself for it." Roxy said.

At that Jake sat up a bit and looked at her. "I know that. But I can't help but feel like that's still clingy. And I know because he fears for me and if I did get hurt he thinks it's all his fault. Like with the guys who beat me up for being gay last year. He felt like that was his fault which it wasn't." Jake sighed and thought. "I guess I'm also not fair to him." He looked at Roxy. She winked and pointed a finger at the raven haired man. "Bingo. And that might be why he's so and I quote, over bearing, clingy and most likely needy. Maybe if you took a step back and thought for a moment and realized what's that you'd be losing someone great." She said with a frowned. "Maybe you should try to talk to him, Jake." Jane commented.

"Basically what Jane's saying, gotta get that metaphorical stick out of your ass and learn that nothing revolves around you." Roxy huffed softly. Jake looked at the two females. "I know. I'm sorry." He muttered. "You shouldn't be apologizing to us.." Roxy interrupted the other. "You need to apologize to the man you call your boyfriend." Jane stated. Jake glanced at the sky. "I fucked up hugely. I'm an idiot aren't I? The worst boyfriend ever." He said with a rather thick accent.

The blonde female rolled her pink eyes. "Stop throwing yourself a pity party and grow up! Shit happens and you were a bit of a dick to your man, and that ain't cool." She said, frowning at the stubborn British man whose head was in her lap once again.

"That's odd.. He should have been here by now.." Jane looked at the walk ways.

"That's odd. I know I saw him earlier." Roxy said as she pulled out her phone and texted Dirk. She waited a whiled for him to respond. When she got no text when she normally got a response right away, but when she didn't get a response right away, she was a bit confused and worried. It was getting close to the end of the lunch hour. Roxy sent a few other texts and was given silents. Then Jane tried and also received silents. And by the last hour of school they saw nothing of the blonde haired man, and heard nothing from him. Jake sent small little messages asking him where was he. Of course Dirk wasn't going to reply.

* * *

 

 

Jake sat outside with the two females, talking. "Did you get anything from Mr. Strudel?" Roxy asked, laying her phone out. Jake shook his head, slouching forward a tad. "No. I haven't" Jane said with a small sigh.

"Jake you should go and talk to him. Maybe he could use his boyfriend." Roxy looked at Jake who had his head down with pure worry in his eyes.

"I should, but say what? I went weeks without talking to him, ignoring him completely and acting like my head was up my arse." He admitted.

"Yes but you also have to fix your mistake." Jane said, standing up. "I'd get my behind movin' if I was you." She said and gave Roxy a small kiss to the cheek "I will see you later, doll. And Jake, text me when you make it to Dirk's and how well it went." And with that the brunette haired woman left.

Roxy smirked and stood up. "Get your ass in gear, get to your man and text me as well. I have a date with Jane and I wanna get cleaned up and feel clean for said date. Good luck." Roxy waved and dashed off.

After a while of sitting alone he finally got up and started to walk to Dirk's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me what I can do for the next chapter. If you liked hit kudos and yeah. Also each chapter will be short that way I have something to work out in the next. Thanks for reading.


	3. To Hell and Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst just full angst.

After what seemed to be forever, Jake had finally gotten up and headed to Dirk's apartment, taking the quickest route he knew. He had sent a few texts to the other as he walked. When he got there and still no text back he went straight up to the other's door. He knocked on the door and took off his backpack. He place the bag down onto the ground and started to dig through, looking for his key chain that had a spare key to the blonde man's apartment. Dirk had spent the rest of the day ignoring his phone especially when it was Jake's name which flashed up onto the screen. When he heard the knock at the door, immediately getting up and waiting a moment. No, if that was Jake then he likely had a key with him. Confrontation at that point would be unavoidable. Quickly, he rushed to the bathroom, washing his face to try and rid himself of the evidence he had been crying

Jake found his keys after what felt like ever and stood up. He grabbed the bag by the strap and unlocked the door. He walked in and placed the bag down as he kicked off his shoes. He closed the door and walked into the small space. He pulled out his phone and texted Roxy. He walked to the other's room. "Hey Dirk..?" He called out softly. He opened the door and peeked his head inside. "Hey are you here?" Taking a few more moments to splash his face with water before drying it with a towel, he called back, "I'll be out in a minute." His voice didn't sound that bad, perhaps a little quieter than usual, but that would be easy enough to overlook. It was nothing to really worry about, right? Putting the towel down, he made his way out of the bathroom, keeping his eyes down as he went past Jake and straight to his bed where he had set his shades down. Dirk put them on again before turning to Jake. "What's up?" he asked, trying to make everything seem normal.

  
Jake looked at him and pressed his lips into a small frown. He walked over to him and cupped his cheeks carefully, trying to see his eyes knowing that was the only true way to know what his emotions were. He slowly moved to grab the temples of his shades. "May I..?" He asked, moving to get him to sit. He sat down and didn't move his hands from the temples. "Dirk what's wrong.. You weren't there during lunch not classes.. Talk to me please..?" Jake had no idea that he was the reason why Dirk was upset. He didn't even know that he was right there when he said what he did. He moved to sit cross legged on the bed so he could look at him.

  
After being so upset, after crying so much, he was beginning to feel that he was done with letting himself get so upset over this stupid thing with Jake. While he was sure there were things he could have done better himself, he was only human, and he couldn't exactly blame himself for it all, right? Moving Jake's hands with a tensed jaw, he removed the shades himself, letting him see his red, puffy eyes, giving away the fact that he had been crying. That should really mean something on its own. How often did anybody see Dirk Strider even a little upset? "Why should I talk to you? What do you want me to say? How can I say anything that I'm feeling without being needy or overbearing? Tell me how I can do that and then I'll to you, Jake. But if I start looking for comfort from you, won't that be clingy?" Dirk was being bitter about this, but once he was done being upset, the energy had turned into anger.

Jake looked at him and gave him a confused look. Until he released what he was talking about, he's face when pale. He swallowed thickly. "Oh good god..." He said and rubbed the back of his own neck. "Dirk... I'm sorry..." He said and tried to make a slight recovery from what he had said. He looked down and sighed. "I can explain.." Actually no. He could. He couldn't explain at all. He couldn't tell him the truth. Cause he didn't even know. "Wait...? What part did you hear... Clearly you heard the overbearing, clingy and needy part.."

Seeing Jake like that was making the anger die as quickly as it had come, his brows furrowing slightly as he listened to what he had to say. He could explain? That would definitely be difficult, but if Jake could really pull that off... "I heard that you were tired of it, that you're fed up of me." Dirk could feel the tears quickly building up again and he was quite honestly sick of crying now. He hated it. "If you're so tired of it, of me, when were you going to tell me? Why haven't you broken up with me yet?" Dirk choked back a sob as he thought over it all again. Jake was right. He was clingy, needy and overbearing and the other shouldn't have had to deal with that. He had every right to get up and walk out, leave him. The thought caused him more pain than anything but he was starting to feel he deserved it. Again, being in a depressive phase really didn't help this situation at all.

"No I can't actually properly explain without sounding stupid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you'd like for the next chapter. Tell me how you'd like to see how this would go because that would be awesome. Also this was mostly all taken from the roleplay. I got tired and lazy.


	4. An apology.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake's explains?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst! It won't stop!

"No I can't actually properly explain without sounding stupid." Jake took a moment and thought. "To be honest you were the only one that I've had whose cared for me so much besides my grandmother!" He said, trying to hold back the anger. "Yes you are at times overbearing but I haven't been fair to you lately. I said you were needy but I also can be needy." He said and moved away from him. "Maybe you should wait to hear the rest of our conversation because both Roxy and Jane slapped some sense into me." He growled and got up. He ran his fingers though his hair and sighed.

Dirk watched as Jake got up and away from him, already feeling guilty after listening to everything else he had to say. He really shouldn't have just assumed what Jake had said about him was all there was to the conversation.

It was his own fault that this little arguement, this falling out, was even happening to begin with. He could have stayed and listened a little more, could have confronted Jake in a far more reasonable manner than he had done.

Curling up into himself, he didn't say anything else, just desperately wishing that if he curled up into a tight enough ball then he might just altogether disappear. That would be good right about now. Dirk deserved that. Another sob escaped him, tears falling freely down his cheeks. He didn't want Jake here while he was feeling like this at all.

Jake took a small deep breath as he tried to calm himself. After a few minutes he walked back and sat down. He looked at Dirk for a moment before he let out a small sigh. He wrapped his arms around him tightly and nuzzled into him. He closed his eyes and kissed his neck.

"Dirk... You asked why I haven't left you. And do you have an idea why..?" He asked, hating seeing the other like this. He rubbed small circles onto body. He frowned and listened to the other.

Instead of waiting for a response he answered. "Because you are my boyfriend.. Because you, you my dear are someone that I can't stand not being with. I am happy. But are you?"

  
Dirk tensed for a moment as Jake first wrapped his arms around him, not sure about if he wanted the closeness at this point. He quickly decided he did, however, and curled up into Jake, still not saying a word.

It was good to hear that Jake was actually happy, happy with him, but then Dirk had to really think about whether he was or not. It was horrible that he should even have to think about it really. He hated that.

"With you," he eventually answered, voice a little weak and hoarse now, "I'm happy. I'm happy with us. Right now I'm not happy at all though." Dirk knew he had to tell Jake about this. It was only fair, would only prove to make things easier to understand in times like this.

Jake nodded and sighed softly. "Would you be happier if we just broke up..?" He asked, humming softly. "I just want what you think is best.." He said and kissed his cheek. "I can leave you alone if that's better for you to think."

Jake didn't want to lose the other. He wanted the other to be happy but he wasn't going to make him stay with himself if Dirk was unhappy. He wasn't that horrible. He did an moved to kiss him. He kissed his neck and jawline. He wanted the other to know that he wasn't going to leave unless Dirk told him to.

"Dirk... What is it that you are feeling...?" He asked really wanting to know what his lover was feeling. He was going to be a better boyfriend. That is if Dirk wanted to still be with him.

Dirk could feel the sudden swell of panic in his chest as Jake suggested that they break up. While, for a moment or so before he arrived, Dirk had thought that to be best, it wasn't what he actually wanted.

He knew that if he and Jake were to break up, he would feel even worse. Dirk knew himself enough to know that he would refuse to talk to anybody then, seeing as it was already so difficult to do so now.

"No, I don't want that," he finally replied, "what you said...I know it's true. It hurt to hear it but it's true about me. It's not the entire reason why I feel like I do now though, and I should have told you about that earlier. It would have made things a lot easier on both of us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm out of ideas for this guys. Please help I am taking from the role play I can't rely on it forever!

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to end up killing me at the end of writing this whole story. I am not sure how many chapters this will end up having but I am sure that this will kill people's feelings. I also hope that this ends up being a really good story, this chapter was taken from a role-play I did a while back, and the person had given me full permission to do as I please with it, so at last, I took their prompt and just edited it a bit. The next chapter most likely will not contain as much of the role-play as did this one. Thank you for reading and if you also leave comments thanks for those as well.


End file.
